28. Burbak

Ever so often, comes peculiarity
That proves all reasons wrong
Love is said to be the answer
But for me, it was the absence of it.

Without it, I saw the meaning
Without it came the answers
The Loss gave me the light
To see your flame in its divinity.

It took hearts to break,
And caused heartache heartache
Oh and time, and many mistakes
To reach back to you, again.

I was wrong. Love is the answer!
Only now I can see it with my eyes closed
Its absence made it clear.
Its beauty will save our world.

I pray you see it too.

# berjemur di saat hujan




Sometimes this distance wins
other times it doesn’t exist
but when it does take over
there is a craving underneath my skin.
There is so little to do then
and I’m helpless to the motion
slipping into turning into a coil.
And I long for your skin,
to gash it with my fingerprints
and to press onto your flesh
a thought made memory within.


Amongst the pines. In them.
A homeland cold, but warm
Sunlight radiant, a vampire i am.
Eating the yolk of innocence.

My face, that ugly soul,
But good thoughts lie in them.
You don’t dare to see
Blind you are to the brighter light.

Ride on your dying horse, what care
As long as you reach your goal
What horse, what goal
Once you see your soul

Catch that breeze on the winter night.
That keeps you warm.
Sleep with good will
Sheared from the wool of sheep.

No prayer, no song only an empty hole.

25. Enchanted in the rain

The rain was falling when I left home
now I remember how she wanted to get wet.
She had invited me to join her dance;
a dance of the soul in joy
to soak in the feeling that comes so rare.
As though she was high and I were firm,
So foolishly I denied.
Now today, I wish I could join her alike
and feel the rain’s light delight.
On my shoulders and in my hair
mixed with hers and in a waltzlike sway.
Perhaps in the same place, the terrace
or by the busy roads of the day,
I wouldn’t care.


Quiet eyes in hopes
a subtle movement for approach
consumed by timidity
she for one is a ghost.

A stare in resonance
with a direct contact to my soul
words cannot help
í know,
í ruin it with words.

Warm touches to show
an ensconcing  aura to grow
balms me by the day
promises to stay with me. 


it would be an apt thing to see
You, walking amongst the pines
in between blooming rhododendrons trees
in the morning sunlight,
while the white mountains glitter in the distance
and your smile directed at me.

it is an apt thing to feel
the slightest of your gental touch
and the tightest of your grip
the biting of your teeth
onto mine undeserving  lips.
tumbling into the gravity we created to exist.

it is an apt thought to think
those compulsive evenings
our refugee in the shade of  stars.
where we walked and talked
and kissed and fought
beyond the minutes time could provide.

in those stairs and in the dark
where i felt the beating of your heart,
in that moment when you let me in
inside your body and under your skin.
I will not forget your humble soul
you who weighed mine dirt in gold.



22. Rendezvous

We used to take walks in the park
Not one but a few
Sometimes we would cross our hands
While other times we would hold hands.
The quiet places were always occupied by us two
Not for privacy but for company.
Her hair would flow so smoothly onto her body
Right from the top to before her shoulders
So simple in unison.
She would tie them when the occasion called
And lash them away from me when I offended her
She  always eventually smiled back at me.